


I've Got You

by imyourplusone



Category: The Blacklist (TV)
Genre: F/M, Post S3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-22
Updated: 2016-09-02
Packaged: 2018-08-10 10:11:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7840699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imyourplusone/pseuds/imyourplusone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Liz stands at the door, unsure what her next move should be. Every instinct in her body tells her this is the moment she has waited for even as the house remains silent and still. Perhaps it's her imagination after all and the weeks of stress and exhaustion are catching up. Wanting him to come for her and Agnes so desperately she is hearing things that aren't there. Willing it to be so.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Rescue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Post s3 in which Liz finds herself kidnapped and Red does a little rescuing 
> 
>  
> 
> A big thank you to TravelingSong for the edit and encouragement!

Liz isn't sure what startles her awake as she sits up in bed, eyes scanning the darkness, and her hand instinctively reaches out for her service weapon before she pulls back, remembering it is long gone. She listens for whatever it was that woke her but hears only the sound of her own breathing. _It was nothing. Go back to sleep._ Her heart is racing though, and she knows from experience sleep won't be easily reclaimed.

She slides silently from the bed and reaches the door in the darkness without need of light. The path is well known to her after sleepless nights spent pacing the beautifully decorated room that has become her prison. Nights when the tears came and refused to leave. When the anger and hatred she felt for her captor burned within. Sixteen paces to the right and fourteen to the left. She's made the journey a thousand times. Back and forth. Back and forth, wading through a sea of regret for the hurt she caused him. Trying to breathe as the need for her baby consumed her.

The door is locked of course but she tries it just the same and fights the urge to bang her fists on the solid mahogany in frustration. It does no good, as she is well aware, and will only earn her threats of sedation. Threats her captor made good on and so she silently listens at the door, careful not to alert the guard stationed outside.

_It was nothing. Go back to sleep._

Except it is something. Liz can feel it in the prickling at the back of her neck as she tries to control her breathing. That indescribable feeling in her chest can only mean one thing.

_He's here._

She knows it with certainty now even though there is no sign of disturbance in the house. Every time her poor body has given way to exhaustion, falling into a fitful sleep, the dreams come and the terror along with it. Darkness and long empty hallways with locked doors shut to her frantic hands. Searching for her daughter. Searching for the face that was the last she saw before she _died_. Her growing despair as both are lost to her and the sensation of falling through the emptiness of her shattered life. A succession of tortured dreams with the same conclusion as finally a pair of strong arms surrounds her, holding tight. Instinctively, she knows it's him. Knows he has found her beyond the grave and will pull her back to life. _I've got you._

Every night the same. The fleeting moment of safety in his arms and the whispered assurance before she is jolted awake within the empty room. The prickling at her neck and the feeling in her chest she can't quite put into words the only remnants of the dream. And so she walks the room, waiting for daylight, wondering if she will ever have the chance to fix what she has broken as the guilt hangs over her like a banner. _This is your doing. You've brought yourself to this locked room._

Liz stands at the door, unsure what her next move should be. Every instinct in her body tells her this is the moment she has waited for even as the house remains silent and still. Perhaps it's her imagination after all and the weeks of stress and exhaustion are catching up. Wanting him to come for her and Agnes so desperately she is hearing things that aren't there. Willing it to be so.

She blinks back tears as the doubt replaces the certainty she felt only moments ago and is taking a step toward the bed when she hears it. The muffled shot of a gun and silencer. The hysteria rises in an instant and she bites down on her lip fearful of making a sound. _Keep it together Liz._

The thought of Kirk or his people coming for her before Red can reach her has Liz springing into silent action. She moves quickly to the bedside table to unplug the lamp. Feeling the weight of it in her hands, she hopes it will suffice as a weapon if need be. There is a soft thud in the hall and she spins around to listen but again all is silent until she hears the key insert into the lock, and she just makes it back to the door before the knob begins to turn. Still unsure who is on the other side she retreats behind, takes a breath in and waits with the lamp poised at the ready.

Light from the hallway floods the room as the unknown intruder enters and immediately approaches the bed. Struggling to see as her eyes adjust to the brightness, Liz steps from behind the door and hears him say, "Elizabeth, you're not planning on bashing me in the head with that lamp, are you?"

_Raymond_

The voice from her dreams and she feels it reach into her very soul. He must have seen her shadow as his senses are always tuned into the dangers around every corner. She wonders in that fleeting second if they'll laugh about this one day. The absurdity of the moment as she stands there in her nightgown, clutching the lamp like a batter waiting for the next pitch.

Red turns to see her standing in the light from the hall. Watches as the lamp falls limply to her side and there are no words as he drinks her in, her beautiful face staring back at him. He takes in everything at once. The shadows beneath her eyes, the exhaustion evident in her too thin frame, and she has never looked more beautiful until that moment.

_Elizabeth_

His Elizabeth. Red hasn't allowed himself to contemplate this reunion to any degree. There was simply too much to do. Too many clues to track down and informants to find as he sorted through Kirk's strange and twisted organization until he found this hidden compound. Hadn't allowed himself to feel anything really except the desperation to find her. What would follow he did not know and for Raymond Reddington, the man always ten steps ahead, the uncertainty of that was unbearable at times. Right then he feels certain he can withstand anything to come with this memory of seeing her alive once more.

How long they stand there watching and waiting they will never recall, but a lifetime passes in their features. The pain and fear and betrayal hang heavy between them as if they are a tangible thing. Another locked door to be broken down.

He won't advance first this time, and Lizzy would not want him to. Her choices have led them to this place and she wants to, needs to make the first step towards recovery. All the words she had planned to say die in her throat as she looks at the face she has searched for in her dreams. There is kindness and relief mixed with a sadness she has never seen, even in their lowest moments. Oh but there's the look in his eyes she recognizes instantly. He loves her still. After all that has happened it remains unbroken, and there are no words. She realizes then how pitiful they would sound. How to begin to explain what she now finds unfathomable or make amends for the unforgivable? Perhaps there will be a chance for that later, she thinks, but for now this will have to do as the feeling in her chest pulls her forward.

_Raymond, I do love..._

Red watches as she steps toward him, lamp still in hand, and just as she reaches the bed where he stands, tosses it to the side and grabs him with such force he stumbles back a step or two.

As her arms circle around his torso, she buries her head in his shoulder and he remembers another embrace shared on a deserted street the night of her release from jail. When suddenly everything seemed right before they went so horribly wrong.

The gun is tossed on the bed next to the lamp as he enfolds her in his arms. He has taken care of the guard at her door, but he is listening for any movement from the hallway. Baz is to rendezvous with them shortly and they will make a carefully planned exit from the house leaving behind a small army to deal with those that remain, offering surrender first and a bullet second.

For now and for a few seconds this is what she needs. To know there is an end coming for the ordeal she has endured. To know that soon Kirk will never be in the position to hurt her or her child ever again. And he needs this, too. To have the one he once thought lost to him forever there in his arm, alive and unhurt. At least physically because Red can feel how thin she is and he fights to control his anger for the man responsible. God knows what mental anguish she has gone through and only time will tell how much healing she will truly need.

He hears her speak for the first time but can't catch her words as her face remains buried in his chest.

"I can't understand you. Talk to me."

"Agnes. We need to find my baby."

Of all the things he has imagined her saying, this was the last. Is it possible Kirk could be so cruel as to...

"Lizzy, don't you know? I thought he would have told you...but of course he wouldn't, the selfish bastard."

He stops then, pulls back, and as her eyes meet his own, continues, "Elizabeth, Agnes is safe. She has been in my care for weeks. Kirk was holding her at a separate compound and I found her first. Do you understand? Agnes has been with me and she is fine. You will see her today. I promise you, before this day is over you will have your baby with you again."

Liz has listened to it all without speaking, without fully comprehending the words. Agnes safe? The daily threats and/or promises regarding her baby were all lies. A manipulation by her captor in whatever sick game he was playing. A way to keep her under control by using a mother's love for her child against her. If he were standing there right then Liz feels certain she'd take Red's gun and finish what Kirk had started.

Red is waiting for some reaction to his words and watches her with growing alarm as she stares blankly back at him.

"Elizabeth?"

"Raymond, I..."

Her legs give way then and she'd have fallen to the floor but feels his arms scooping her up and holding tight. The dreams come back to her and the sensation of falling into nothingness but for this man who always catches her. How it is possible Agnes has already been found, she can't quite understand. Her baby is safe and far away from this hateful place and under Red's protection. As she should have been all along.

Red places her gently on the bed so that she is sitting at the edge. He senses she's reaching the breaking point, but they're not out of danger and soon it will be time to move.

"I'll explain everything later but right now we need to get you out of here. You can do this, Elizabeth. Agnes is waiting for you so it's time to go. Do you understand?"

She finds her voice then. Agnes is waiting. Her baby is safe and she needs to get to her.

"Yes I understand. I'm ready."

Red moves through the room using the light from the hall to guide him, and he's soon back with her clothes urging her to change as quickly as possible. She smiles as he turns giving her as much privacy as possible. Always a gentleman even during a prison break, but she's so exhausted and focused on getting the hell out of there, if Red's army of commandos descended on her room right then she'd hardly bat an eye.

"Okay, I'm ready," she says again as she pulls on a hoodie to protect her against the chill in the air.

He turns and kneels to help her with her shoes and it's then Baz appears at the bedroom door.

"Chopper ETA four minutes. Aram radio'd saying he can't scramble the alarm system much longer so our presence will soon be known. Time to move."

"Right. Hold them off as long as possible till I get her to the roof then tear this place apart and find him. Let me know when you have him."

Baz moves out of sight and Liz wishes there was time to thank him for tonight and also for that day at the chapel, but it will have to wait. Suddenly she feels the weight of all the things she should have said and done pressing down on her and she won't be able to take a step without Red knowing. Just in case and no matter the outcome, he will at least know a tiny fraction of what she feels inside. He is still kneeling in front of her, and she reaches out to take his arm.

"Raymond—"

"Lizzy, it's time to go."

"I wanted it to be you."

"I don't—"

"I needed you to find me and my baby, but I also wanted it to be you. I'm more sorry than you will ever know but I'm glad it's you."

She sees him swallow and he rises in front of her ready to help her to her feet. "I will always be here Elizabeth."

He helps her up, making sure her strength has returned. As his arm slides around her waist and they turn to exit the bedroom, she hears him whisper, "I've got you."

Lizzy closes her eyes as that feeling returns in her chest, only this time she knows exactly what it is.

_Raymond, I do love..._

Words spoken in a previous life and as true as they are, she now realizes more than love, it is a longing that she feels. A longing for that connection to him she once believed needed to be broken only to find herself bereft without it. Her heart knew even when her mind did not.

"I know you do," and she gives him a smile as they race for the roof.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _I've got you_ respectfully borrowed from Dembe
> 
> _I wanted it to be you_ shamelessly stolen from _You've Got Mail_
> 
> I regret nothing
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	2. Reunion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The comments and kudos are greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading!

The escape from Kirk's compound seems to happen in mere seconds. After leaving the room where Liz was held, Red took her hand and never let go until they were on the roof, and he was helping her into a helicopter. She is certain their escape is planned down to the last detail and asks no questions, simply trusts that he will lead the way. As they wind their way through the dark house, Red's steps never falter even as he takes out two more guards, and before she knows it they pass through a door leading to a large rooftop terrace.

The cool night air revives her, and the moon provides just enough light as Red pulls her toward a descending helicopter which seems to appear out of nowhere. It hovers only long enough for them to strap in before lifting off once more. A faint shadowy outline of the massive compound is the last she sees of her prison before turning away and focusing on the journey ahead. Somewhere her daughter is waiting and she could weep as Red's words come back to her. _I promise, before this day is over, you will have your baby with you again._

They land near Red's waiting jet and within minutes are airborne again. As the plane rises, Liz feels her last reserves leave her. Whatever adrenalin she had that enabled her to remain on her feet through their escape is gone, and a trembling begins to take over her body. Red, recognizing what is happening, is immediately by her side helping her lie down and covering her with a blanket. She doesn't even realize she is crying until he brushes the tears from her cheeks as he tells her she is safe. She is safe. They are safe.

"What is happening to me?" she asks, feeling like she is on the edge of something and wanting him desperately to pull her back.

The tears refuse to stop as she turns on her side, offering Red enough room to sit by her on the sofa. She feels him rub her back as he says, "You're alright Lizzy, just a delayed reaction to the ordeal you've been through. Cry it out. Do it now before you see your daughter."

She wants to be stronger but can't fight it, and as the tears stream down thinks _so this is what it is to be broken._ Strange the realization should come now and not during the recent months of trauma, but perhaps she wouldn't have been able to cope with it alone. However, here with Red at her side, caring for her after the pain she has caused him, the well of emotion can no longer be contained.

When the tears finally subside, he leaves her long enough to bring a damp cloth to put on her forehead. They have wrung the last drop of energy from her and he doubts in that moment she'd even be able to stand on her own.

"It will be hours until we land. Why don't you try to sleep?"

But the thought of sleep terrifies her, even with Kirk far behind, and she is shaking her head as she replies, "No I want to stay awake. No more dreams…"

Red wonders if he'll ever really know what she has endured. The suffering was not just his or those close to her. She has had her share and the proof is written on her tear stained face and in her still shaking body. He reaches out to tuck the blanket more securely around her and continues to rub her back, offering the only comfort he can.

"Lizzy, the dreams will fade, take my word. Soon all of this will be a distant memory."

She hopes so. Oh how she hopes one day to be far removed from the choices that brought her to this dark place. The trembling is lessening with every stroke along her back and finally she feels able to relax a little. Able to breathe without effort.

How is it that just a short time ago she was helpless to escape that locked room? She smiles thinking of the lamp and Red's smart remark. Some things will never change no matter what happens and how glad she is for it.

Red notices her smile and meets it with one of his own. That's his Lizzy. He can see her coming back to herself already. _Soft, then hard, then soft again_. _Stronger than she knows._

"I think I'm falling asleep," she whispers and hopes the dreams stay far away.

"You are most definitely falling asleep so don't fight it. You'll want to be rested for when you see Agnes again. Shall I….shall I tell you about her?"

He asks it almost shyly, unsure what response he will get. That she knows so little about her child is a terrible hurt and one he has experienced all too well. He would give anything to take it from her, however, this is beyond even his control.

"Yes please, tell me everything." There is a catch in her voice as she says it and takes a moment before continuing, "Where is she? Is Dembe with her? You're sure she's fine, you're not just saying that?"

The words tumble out in a rush and the fear she has tried to control all these months surfaces again. The panic of those sleepless nights making it difficult to breathe once more.

"Listen to me, Lizzy. I promise you she is perfect and yes, Dembe is with her. She hasn't been out of either his or my sight since the moment we found her. I'll tell you everything about her until you fall asleep."

His words instantly calm the panic. Red and Dembe have cared for her daughter and the smile returns as she visualizes that scenario. Yes, Agnes is fine. After three months being held against her will, Liz knows one thing for certain beyond all possible doubt. She would trust her life to Red and also to Dembe, and this includes her daughter. Where once she may have doubted that, only certainty remains.

"Before I fall asleep…."

"Yes, what is it?" He prompts as she fights to stay awake.

"Thank you, Raymond. Thank you for finding her and for…"

But she can't continue. _Thank you for saving my child. Thank you for saving me from myself_. The words are simply too much for her without a complete breakdown and she leaves them until she's stronger.

"I know. You don't have to explain." He takes a moment before continuing and brushes her hair back from her face as she closes her eyes. She reaches for his hand then, wanting something to hold onto when she finally gives in to sleep.

"Lizzy, the first thing you should know is Agnes has your temper…."

She's asleep within minutes, simply too weak to fight the exhaustion. He remains by her side longer than necessary and continues to talk to her quietly. Telling her of the blue eyed little girl that waits for her. Watches as she relaxes into a deep sleep, feeling the tension leave her body. Her hand is still holding his and not wanting to disturb her he stays, taking comfort in her nearness. _And when you rock her, whatever you do, don't go side to side. Always up and down or you'll never hear the end of it. Like the swells of the sea, Lizzy, that's how she falls asleep._

The nightmares don't find her for the first time since she was taken. Lizzy dreams of rocking her daughter to the sound of the sea, and the feel of Red at her side.

* * *

She can't stop herself leaning forward, willing the car to move faster, and Red reaches out placing a hand on her back. "Almost there, just a mile or two."

He has kept his promise, waking her from a deep sleep as the jet began its descent giving her enough time to freshen up before landing. How long it will take before she feels completely rested Lizzy has no idea, but she feels better. Still weak, but the anticipation to reach their destination is taking over providing the energy she needs.

"Red, I missed all the Agnes stories. You'll need to tell me again, tell me what she likes. I don't know what she needs-"

"She needs you. Also a bottle at 2am, but mostly she needs you."

That brings a smile to her face and Liz leans back taking a few steadying breaths to calm her nerves. She reaches out to take his hand and not for the first time in the past several hours, or really even the past months, realizes how much she has missed him. Isn't that how it always works? We don't know or appreciate what we have, what is right there by our sides, until it's gone. _Never again,_ she thinks. _Not ever again._

They turn into a gated driveway and enter a private estate. Liz has a fleeting glimpse of manicured gardens leading to a small lake as they arrive at a lovely manor house. The nervousness returns as he helps her from the car and leads her through the door, but she is immediately struck by the serenity of the house. All classical lines very much reminding her of Red, and she is comforted knowing Agnes has spent the majority of her short life safe and cared for in these peaceful surroundings.

"There's a sun room at the back that overlooks the lake. They're probably there this time of day."

Just then she sees Dembe walking towards them and she steps forward to hug him.

"I am happy to see you Elizabeth," he says returning her embrace.

Liz tries to respond but is unable to speak. Feels like she has been holding her breath since exiting the car. All she can do is give his arm a squeeze hoping that will suffice until she finds her voice. Red's hand is immediately at the small of her back guiding her onward to the back of the house. They enter the room with its large windows and the view of the water beyond, but she notices none of it as her eyes land on the bassinet situated just out of the sun's reach.

She finds she can't proceed and stops just inside the door. Can't quite reach the point where she will see her daughter's face. There is pressure at her back as Red urges her forward, but it does no good as she needs these few seconds to compose herself.

"It's okay, Lizzy, I'll bring her to you. You're doing just fine."

Is she doing just fine? Because it seems she's about to spin out of control. But as he lifts Agnes from the bassinet and she is finally able to see her, a calmness settles over her. All the weeks, months, melt away and this is all that matters. Every nightmare spent searching for her daughter and for the man who stands ready to place her in her arms, always lost to her night after night, no longer seem to matter. Here they are. The two she had longed for and here they are.

Red walks to her and places Agnes in her arms, and with a steadying hand guides her to the sofa. The sleeping baby never stirs as Liz places her on her chest wanting their heartbeats as close as possible. She smells of powder and sweetness as Liz leans down to whisper all that she has wanted to say to her daughter. All the promises she has wanted to make.

Liz looks up just as Red is backing out of the door and calls out to him, stopping his retreat.

"I thought perhaps you'd want a little privacy."

What she wants is to share this moment. To keep the three of them together as long as possible and to learn everything about her daughter. She needs to hear of her baby's rescue, his first days with her, every single detail of their time together.

"No don't leave, please. Come and talk to me, tell me about her."

Red would never have expected her to want him there to share in the first moments with her daughter after so long. How different from the day Agnes was born. The day Lizzy…..

He pushes those thoughts from his mind refusing to dwell on what cannot be changed. They're here now, Elizabeth and Agnes, and as he looks at them together, the pain begins to wash away. They have suffered enough and it's time to move forward.

They spend the afternoon together and just as she asked, Red tells her all that he can recall. _She never cried once, Lizzy, when I carried her from where she was held. Just gave a yawn and went to sleep._ There is laughter but also tears as Lizzy realizes what she has missed. _The first few nights were a marathon but we have a routine now and she's on a good schedule. Or she has put Dembe and I on a schedule but whichever it is, she is a happy, healthy baby._

* * *

When the sun begins to set, Red leads the way upstairs to the nursery. He's had a small sitting room converted for the purpose as it connects two bedrooms on either side. One being his and the other has been prepared for Liz in the anticipation of her rescue. Once again she is overwhelmed at his thoughtfulness and attention to detail, remembering a beautiful shipping container and a night full of stars.

Knowing Lizzy is exhausted and hasn't eaten all day, he convinces her to relinquish Agnes long enough to shower and change while he sees to dinner.

"She's not going anywhere, I promise. All of that is behind us. Come downstairs when you're ready and we'll have dinner."

He's right, of course, but she hates letting Agnes out of her sight and rushes through the shower to get back downstairs as quickly as possible. Liz finds them in the kitchen and the sight stops her in her tracks. Agnes is in a small high chair by the table as he tests the temperature of a few drops of formula from her bottle on his hand. She's sure she hears him whisper _now Agnes this is a big moment so a little cooperation_ …and catching her out of the corner of his eye, calls her over.

"Lizzy, come and feed this girl so I can figure out a dinner plan."

He leaves her to it, not hovering or telling her what to do. She remembers what he has told her, how Agnes likes to have her bottle in her high chair but then enjoys a walk around the room. Red carries the conversation as he prepares the food, and his pretense that this is a completely normal occurrence calms her and the first feeding is a grand success. He sees her turn and wipe a few tears from her cheeks after placing Agnes back in the chair and comes to stand by her wrapping her in a hug.

"See, piece of cake."

And they're laughing as they sit down to eat, and he's looking at Lizzy looking at Agnes and suddenly everything seems possible. Everything is right in this perfect little moment. He knows right then he'd give everything he owns to make it last and to make them happy.

"Red, I think I'll take her upstairs and put her down." But she can't quite keep the statement from sounding like a question, suddenly feeling out of place.

Red doesn't acknowledge the question in her voice simply saying he'll clean up from dinner and will come say goodnight in a little while. Again letting her have a little breathing room as she and Agnes figure things out together.

As she lifts Agnes to carry her upstairs, Liz asks, "How long are we staying here?"

"For however long you and Agnes need to, Lizzy. You know you are welcome to stay until you decide what your next step should be."

He turns to clear the table but had he seen her face just then, he'd have realized she was including him in that "we" and she smiles at him thinking she'll need to be more specific next time.

By the time he enters the nursery Agnes has had a bath, is in her pjs, and is fast asleep. The nursery is in total chaos and Lizzy looks as frazzled as he has ever seen her, with powder on her face and water in her hair, but she gives him a brilliant smile waving him over to the crib. Not for the first time Raymond Reddington realizes he is a lost man. Completely and utterly lost.

He comes to stand with her, and they watch the sleeping baby for a several minutes without speaking. Finally she whispers, "This is so hard and I'm so happy. Thank you again for...I don't know where to begin but thank you."

"You're welcome Lizzy. I will always be here for you and Agnes, I hope you know that." He reaches out to swipe a thumb along her cheek brushing the powder off, but pulls back just as quickly. Suddenly unsure of himself and still concerned about intruding on her time with Agnes, he continues, "Well, you've got this so I'll say goodnight and see you ladies in the morning."

She wishes she had the words to tell him that she does know. Knows he is the one she can trust most in the world. That it was anger and a life she could no longer control that made her run. An irrational fear that took hold and wouldn't let her go. There is so much to say but for now letting him know she doesn't want him to retreat from her or from Agnes seems the most important. "Raymond, you said she wakes around two?"

He stops at the connecting door leading to his room and looks back. "Like clockwork and she'll be timing you on the bottle prep time."

"If you happen to wake up, will you come in and keep us company?"

He hesitates only a fraction of a second as he realizes she's making an effort to include him and he is genuinely touched by the gesture. "It would be a pleasure. See you at two."

She loves that smile, the one that reaches his eyes, and knowing he can still look at her like that gives her hope for better days.

"See you at two."


	3. Recovery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big thanks for the comments and kudos. They mean a lot.
> 
> Thanks again for reading. Enjoy!

As one day passes into another Liz is so focused on Agnes, she gives little thought to anything beyond the house by the lake. Red informed her the morning after her arrival that Kirk had been killed when the compound was raided. _He wasn't going to be_ _taken alive, Lizzy, that's the simple truth_. Beyond wanting to know who fired the fatal shot and being informed it was Baz, she drops the subject. Someday she will talk about it with him, of that she is sure, but not until she gets a little distance from it. A little clarity, and for now she simply doesn't care.

She asks him for a phone that first morning, saying there are calls that must be made. He provides her with one and takes the baby from the room, giving her some privacy. As she joins him later in the kitchen, he is sure she is a bit more pale than when he had left her, but he asks no questions and she makes no comment.

Her days are a blur as she adjusts to caring for Agnes, her likes and dislikes, and she laughs when remembering Red referring to the baby putting him and Dembe on a schedule. The little girl rules the house, there is no doubt, and slowly Liz feels the bond between them grow. Feels less a stranger to her and when Agnes smiles, is convinced the baby recognizes her.

She is never really aware how closely Red watches over her those first days, but senses they have entered a careful dance where the other is concerned. Instinctively he knows when she needs time to herself with Agnes and will busy himself in another part of the house letting her have the sunroom or watches from a window as she takes the baby with her for a walk. Sees the light come on under the door that leads from his room to the nursery as Lizzy gives Agnes her 2am bottle. Apart from that first night, he doesn't join her. Finds himself waiting her out, waiting to see what comes after this period of recovery.

There are moments though, when Liz feels that pull in her chest and realizes she misses him. Seeks him out to find him reading in the library or on the terrace doing a crossword. Usually she simply hands Agnes to him, aware he is still hesitant to interrupt these precious first days, but fully aware how much he cares for her. After the first night, she hasn't asked him to join her on the overnight shift, but as she walks her daughter around the room after her bottle, how often her eyes drift to his door. Wondering if he is awake and feeling sure that he is, but she is hesitant to cross that threshold. She needs a little longer. Needs to settle back into her life and into herself.

And gradually she does. The restlessness of the first days has gone and she is able to sleep without the nightmares coming. Feels her appetite returning as she gains a little of the weight she had lost. Her clothes don't hang quite as loosely and there is color in her cheeks again.

So many times during the last months and really during the last years Liz had wondered if she would ever truly be happy again. Now she knows the answer as her daughter smiles up at her from the crib in the mornings and Red comes in to hand her a cup of coffee and to inform her it's _Waffle Thursday, so come on you two._

Yes, she believes she will be happy, and in these small moments feels certain it will come. Without any real plan for the future and without any real answers from the past, she is at least content. For now that is enough.

* * *

As the first month passes into the second, the careful dance between them becomes a little less careful every day. Where once the doors leading from the nursery to their rooms on each side were closed tight, they are now open. Of course it is Liz that breaks the ice as she walks with Agnes after her nighttime bottle, again glancing at his closed door as she does every night. _I know he's awake in there, I just know it_ and summoning a little courage knocks on the door.

When he calls _come in,_ she enters to find him in bed reading. She is always a little taken aback seeing him in such a casual setting, without his usual armor in place. Sitting in bed in an undershirt and pajama bottoms is a whole new level of casual, but she is tired of closed doors and carefulness.

"Hey."

"Hey yourself. Everything alright?"

"Just wanted some company. Mind if I join you?" She ignores the slight look of surprise that passes his features as she goes to lie on the other side of the bed, placing the baby between them.

He covers the shock quickly as his focus turns to Agnes. That smile that reaches his eyes appears as he looks at her, taking hold of her tiny hand.

"Lizzy, you've done wonderfully with her, you know that right?" And his words comfort her. Alleviating the secret fears she has been too busy to acknowledge.

She spends only a few minutes that first night and as she is leaving makes a point to tell him _don't be a stranger, okay._ The door to the nursery is left purposely open and he never gets up to close it.

From that day on things are easier, less guarded, and she is glad he feels he can help her with Agnes and keep them company without worrying that he's intruding. Even during the months they spent on the run there were walls that remained between them. Boundaries that were never crossed, however, now they find themselves crossing new lines daily. It's a common thing for her to bring Agnes to him in the morning so she can have a shower or to find she has slept through a night feeding as he beat her to it in order to let her rest. Waking with the sun streaming in she finds Red dozing in the rocker by the crib with the baby asleep on his chest. _He must have known how tired I was last night_ and she feels that pull in her heart. Feels the longing for him is growing and she wonders where it will lead.

They drift through their days, content and at peace. Thankful for where they are.

"Raymond, come here quick!"

"Lizzy, what—"

But as he bounds into her bedroom, finds her sitting on the bed laughing down at Agnes who is smiling up at her mother.

"She giggled."

"She what?"

"She giggled and it's the first time. Come here and make a face at her so she'll do it again." Completely oblivious to the panic she had caused, Liz waves him over. "Come on, quick. She's about to do it again, I'm sure of it."

He can't be mad, how could he be? They are beautiful to him. They are a miracle.

* * *

As the second month passes into the third, the three have settled completely into life in the house by the lake. Red knows eventually it will be time to leave and seek out a new safe house, but for now and with all possible security measures, they may remain undisturbed for a while longer.

He enjoys showing her the countryside and they have taken long drives in all directions but always close enough to return home at night. Dembe is there at times and sometimes surprisingly he is not. Liz was shocked to learn of a daughter and granddaughter as the reason for his absence and realizes how little she knows about him. Resolves to remedy that.

The carefulness is gone now and has been replaced by a watchfulness. Liz finds herself watching this man who tossed her life into turmoil and who ultimately gave it back to her. She still feels that pull in her chest when Red catches her unaware. When he walks in the room or places his hand at her back. Senses a change in the air that surrounds them. It is charged with something very close to electricity and she wonders if he feels it, too.

Red looks at her with nothing short of wonder at times. She has always been beautiful to him but now she is radiant. Feels his pulse jump when she is near and senses a change between them. He looks for signs that she may want to leave but never discerns any and sometimes will catch her watching him, too, as he waits to see how long she may stay.

They watch and they wait, leaving the words unspoken. Neither wanting to disturb the calm waters.

But things have a way of happening….

By the early hours of the morning, the worst is definitely over as he walks the sleeping baby around his room, rocking her up and down just as she likes. He glances over to see Lizzy fast asleep at the foot of his bed and smiles down at her. An ear infection and a fever has prompted the all night vigil. Liz barely registers surprise when a grey-haired doctor arrived a short time after she brought Agnes to Red with orders to _feel her forehead._ Medicines and reassurances are dispensed along with instructions if the fever should spike in the night.

"These infections aren't at all uncommon, and I assure you in a day or two she will be fine." On his way out the door, stopping to glance at Red and Liz saying, "I must say I am happy for you Raymond. After so many years stitching you up it is a pleasure to attend to your beautiful family."

They glance at each other after the doctor's exit and smile somewhat shyly and he swears there is a blush on her cheeks as she turns to fuss over Agnes. Lizzy feels a lump in her throat, and blinks back tears she can't explain as she lifts Agnes to her chest.

_Your beautiful family._ Words that will play over and over in their minds during the long night with Agnes as the fever spikes and they wait for it to break.

Looking at Lizzy's sleeping form, he wonders how he is going to get her to her own room feeling certain Agnes won't wake for several hours. Should he leave her here and go stretch out on her bed? Not for the first time Red thinks about their two bedrooms separated by the nursery and says to himself _how positively Victorian._

"Agnes, it's a new age, just remember that," he whispers as he places her in the bassinet next to the bed so she will be close. Careful not to disturb her mother, he scoops Lizzy up and tucks her in on the other side of the bed, climbs in himself and is asleep within seconds.

When she wakes a few hours later, Liz is disoriented for a moment then realizes instantly where she is. Glancing over at Red sleeping soundly next to her is the moment she finally understands and she can no longer ignore what her heart has been trying to tell her all these months. All these years, if she were really honest with herself. She is exhausted and not only from caring for Agnes through the night, but exhausted from running and denying the gravitational pull between them. She finally realizes that the man sleeping next to her is the one she wants sleeping next to her. Quite a revelation with the sun barely risen and with so little sleep, but there it is. The certainty that he is the one who will hold their daughter's hands with her and never let go.

Liz rises to check on Agnes and finds her fast asleep and without a return of the fever. Not wanting to disturb her until the next dose of medicine, she leaves her to sleep and is slipping back into the warmth of the bed when Red mumbles sleepily, "Lizzy, don't get up. I'll check on her."

"Too late, I just did and she's better. Go back to sleep."

Red is just drifting off when his mind registers one simple thing. She was not leaving but getting back into bed. He turns to find her facing him and looking at him with an expression he's never seen. One of...wonder almost.

"Are you alright?"

"Yes."

"You sure?"

"I am."

They are dancing around the edges of something but his tired mind can't grasp it. He closes his eyes to sleep once more when he hears her say, "Raymond, you should know that I love you."

He's wide awake now.

"Lizzy-"

"If you're going to give me excuses why that should not be so then I don't want to hear. Besides it's too late. It's much too late."

What can he say? With her tired, beautiful eyes looking at him with that expression and her words reaching somewhere deep inside to soothe the broken places, what can he do?

He reaches out to take her hand as they face each other across the bed, the only part of them that is touching. _Your beautiful family._ A restoration of what was lost and his last, best chance for happiness. In that moment Raymond Reddington surrenders for the final time.

"Elizabeth, then you should know I love you, too."

There are other things to say, but it will have to wait as they sleep with their hands still held firmly by the other.

Red finds them in the breakfast nook later that morning and feeling a little out of control and not at all used to the sensation, bends to kiss Agnes on top of her head and gives Lizzy's arm a pat as he makes a hasty retreat to the kitchen for coffee. Standing at the counter wondering how to proceed, he feels her come up behind him and circle her arms around him.

"Having regrets already?" But there is laughter in her voice and he relaxes against her. How to put it into words? The fear that lingers.

"Lizzy, if you ever need to leave...if this begins to be something that you don't…"

Ah, now she understands. She nudges him until he turns to face her, but keeps her arms around him holding tight.

"Do you know how I know for certain? When everything was taken from me, the only thing I thought about was Agnes and you. That's it. That is how I know."

He does know, of course. Understands loss and what it is to cherish what remains. The look in her eyes has returned and he will gladly spend the rest of his days drowning in their depths. He frames her face with his hands and kisses her because he can't bear not to and the need between them is overwhelming. It is carrying them away until a little girl with an earache makes her presence known from the next room and they break apart with knowing smiles as the waiting game begins.

The week that follows will always seem like a little courtship in their memories. A few days to make sure Agnes is better. A small interlude as they adjust and finish with the business of the past. Liz doesn't return to her room, just naturally gravitates to his. They keep Agnes with them as she recovers, sometimes in the little bassinet and sometimes nestled between them in the bed.

In the quiet moments, she tells him of the things that led her to run. That she regrets it every day and always will. Tells him about the calls she made the morning after he found her. The first to end what should have been ended long ago. The second to an old friend who saved her life in the box, and although she will see him again, for now she will not be returning. He talks to her about his daughter, the family he once had. Things that have not been spoken of but finding he can say them to her. They make promises to each other even with an unsettled future and find that it is easy to let go of everything else. A relief really.

They stand closer, sit closer, hold hands, anything to maintain contact. To feel that electric charge as their need for one another grows. As the week falls away and Agnes is better, Liz pays a visit to Dembe in his wing of the house as she often does now. However, this visit is a little different and of course Dembe knew it all along. Of course he is happy for these two that once seemed so lost. Happy they have found each other.

Afterwards, Liz drops by the study to find Red explaining the fundamentals of chess to their seven month old and laughs thinking of the adventure that awaits the little girl.

Leaving them to it she casually says, "By the way Raymond, Agnes has plans with Dembe tonight so we're on our own." She flashes him that look that makes his pulse jump as she heads out the door.

"Agnes, you never said a word," he says, smiling down at the baby smiling up at him.

He makes it special as she knew he would. Dinner on the terrace and wine and conversation. He puts their favorite music on and asks her to dance, which they've done before, but never like this. Never this close and never this oblivious to everything but each other.

They will admit later to being a little nervous as they walk to their room. Finding that this night means more than any that has come before. But finding as he kisses her and she deepens the kiss, everything around them disappearing and they are lost.

That there would be passion, they never doubted, but to find healing under the other's hands is what surprises. He thinks she is perfect and to her he is beautiful. She seeks out every scar, not at all shocked to find the evidence of the fire written across his back, but they spell out love in her eyes and she cherishes every one. _This is what it is to be broken,_ she thinks, recalling her own trauma as her lips graze the mottled skin. They both carry scars, both seen and unseen. In this they are the same. Damaged but made whole together. It is the truest thing they know.

* * *

As summer passes into fall, there is a new home in a new country. Not due to any imminent threat, but because there are other places to see and explore. Maybe they will return someday and settle permanently in the house by the lake or perhaps not. They will figure it out as they go, and for now they are content to travel as she lets him show her his favorite spots.

Lizzy sometimes loses her bearings as they reach a new destination and takes comfort in the same ritual as they sit together on the balcony after Agnes is settled for the night.

Looking up at the sky, she finally finds what she's searching for.

"Raymond, is that Polaris?" As she points to the brightest star in the north sky.

"Yes, that's it."

"I love that star," she says and drops her head on his shoulder.

Drawing her in closer to his side, he kisses her forehead and whispers, "I love it, too."


End file.
